The green eyed envy monster is no stranger when trying to conceive and it can be a difficult emotion to admit to and talk about.
When you desire a family so passionately it can be crushing every time you see a baby or someone who is expecting. “Why not me?” can be the sadness hiding behind the jealousy. Envy is less about our friend or family member’s pregnancy, and more about your own grief over not yet getting pregnant.
In many ways, it is easier to feel envy and direct your difficult feelings outward than to look inward and acknowledge your sadness. The depth of your anger and envy may take you completely by surprise.
Envy can show up when:
• Everywhere you look there are pregnant women and babies.
• You’ve switched on Facebook to see yet another friend sharing their scan picture.
• You receive another Baby Shower invitation
• You hear your friends talking consistently about their pregnancy
Rest assured feeling envy is a very normal part of trying for a baby, learning that other women are achieving the goal that you so deeply wish for can be overwhelming.
What can we do about it?
Don’t keep your feelings a secret where they may fester, talk to someone else who will understand.
Write out your feelings in a letter that you will never send. Expressing how you want to be happy but the sadness of your own situation makes that difficult. Writing out what you cannot say may help you.
When envy arises pay attention. Take two deep breaths. Then, close your eyes and send a blessing or a positive thought. Do this when you feel like giving a blessing, and do it when you may not.
Join our Community
I’ve created a new secret Holistic Fertility Support Community on Facebook. It’s a safe and private space to offer holistic and emotional support for fertility well-being. It’s a place to chat and bring together a community of like-minded women who are struggling with similar physical, emotional and medical challenges as maybe you are. As this is a private group please email firstname.lastname@example.org with your Facebook profile details and a request to join so we can join you to our group. Thank you.
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