Recently I was invited by Alexia of The Fear Free Childbirth Podcast Show to join her to discuss the sensitive subject of how to cope with a miscarriage. A topic requested by one of Alexia’s heartbroken subscribers who were struggling to come to terms with her recent loss.
‘Coping’ is very much the appropriate term and over the years I’ve supported numerous women who sadly have endured such a loss. How we grieve is very personal and I’ve witnessed each woman needs to be supported at a pace, which is comfortable and suitable for her. Through my clinical experience I’ve found some women seek a more practical viewpoint, many find their emotions difficult to comprehend whist others seek a more meaningful spiritual explanation.
For me I needed to search for a deeper understanding of the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of conception and miscarriage, which lead me in 2009 to the Omega Institute in New York to train with the world-renowned psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss. Through this valuable experience and with over 10 years clinical practice my advice is it’s essential to grieve, vital to emotionally let go and when the time is right to give yourself permission to move on.
Here’s a summary of the points we discussed and the link to the podcast:
- The typical emotional journey that comes with a miscarriage.
- While we may travel along this road at different paces the stop points tend to be very similar.
- Why you need to honour your emotions in the aftermath of a miscarriage and how you can best do this.
- How visualisations can help you move on and about the little birdcage one, that tends to work for many people.
- The importance of creating a farewell ceremony and how that might look for you.
- The difference between holding onto the memory of your baby and the emotion of the experience, and why you don’t need to hold onto both.
- Why we don’t share our pregnancies earlier than the 12 weeks BECAUSE of the miscarriage risk and shouldn’t this change?
- The importance of support groups online or locally.
- The challenges of social media when it comes to pregnancy and miscarriages.
- Coping with the trauma of Facebook status updates.
And finally, we finish by exploring other ways for you to think about your miscarriage experience that can help you to move on. Often by taking a more spiritual approach, or by simply asking the question “What positive has come from this experience?” you can think about your miscarriage differently which can help to alleviate the emotional pain. Here’s some useful resources and links:
Mother and Baby– miscarriage support
Mother and Baby – trying again
Blog Post – Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
Farewell Ceremony – Creating a personal, beautiful and meaningful way to say goodbye
I hope this offers comfort for those who need it. I’d love to know how this has helped you. Here’s how I can further support you and should you wish to chat with me I offer a complimentary 30 minute consultation, just get in touch. Susie x