Guilt is a stubborn emotion whether you’re trying to conceive naturally or having fertility treatment.
The challenge of trying to conceive can frequently bring up feelings of guilt or shame and even feelings of failure that you alone are to blame for not getting pregnant.
Trying to conceive can be an intensely stressful experience and when we’re younger most of us never imagine experiencing problems with having a child, we imagine it will be an easy process, something that just happens. When it doesn’t ‘just happen’, it can be a terrible shock.
You may be on a guilt trip for:
• Making past choices that are now causing you to have problems getting pregnant
• For waiting so long to try and conceive
• Having a drink or two to relax when you feel you shouldn’t be drinking
• Feeling envious and ‘sad’ at birth announcements of friends and acquaintances
• Letting your partner down as your body isn’t working and doing what it should
Guilt if left can turn into a constant barrage of self-blame, pity and anxiety which isn’t good for you or your body at any time of the month.
What can we do about it?
In short you need to let it go, to forgive yourself is to set yourself free.
Next time guilt comes knocking at your door, just ask yourself ‘Why do I need to hold these guilt feelings anymore?’ Accept that forgiveness is a daily task. Forgiving yourself is something you may have to do every day, taking small steps until you eventually feel you can let these feelings go.
Talk to someone who understands, who can help you see that infertility isn’t your fault. A fertility expert can help remove the feeling of isolation and help you see your life and choices more objectively.
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I’ve created a new secret Holistic Fertility Support Community on Facebook. It’s a safe and private space to offer holistic and emotional support for fertility well being. It’s a place to chat and bring together a community of like-minded women who are struggling with similar physical, emotional and medical challenges as maybe you are. As this is a private group please email email@example.com with your Facebook profile details and a request to join so we can join you to our group. Thank you.
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